


i'm searching for something that i can't reach

by atlantisairlock



Series: quiet nights poured over ice & tanqueray: shoot x halsey [12]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death Fix, F/F, Fake Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lol What's A Poi, Non-Canonical Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, POV Second Person, Tags Contain Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 11:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7314181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/atlantisairlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robot Overlord takes Root's voice and tells you to save the world. </p><p>And you do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm searching for something that i can't reach

**Author's Note:**

> this fic will be inaccurate as fuck bc i still haven't watched return 0. haven't watched anything after 5x09 actually. is the timeline accurate? who knows? don't know who dug up root's body! don't care. ignoring the fact that shaw did go back to the subway. pretending the finale never happened. only thing good about it was that sameen was the last one standing. 
> 
> finch dies in this fic because if root and shaw didn't deserve a happy ending then neither did he. i'm going to be forever bitter that his cowardice indirectly led to root's death but he still got to be with the woman he loved, unlike john and root, who fucking deserved their happy endings.

Samaritan - Blackwell - takes Root's life, and some strangers dig up her body and take her cochlear implant. Honestly, you're not sure what is worse, but that question is answered when you pick up the ringing payphone.

_"Hey, sweetie."_

Your heart stops right then and there.  _Root?_

And you remember Pandora's Box, and hope - 

\- but you've always been a realist. It's kept you alive. And you  _know._

"You took her voice?" 

Maybe it surprises you, that that's what feels most like a betrayal, like sacrilege. That She stole the only voice that's ever stirred something - anything - in you. Root is  _dead._ You don't want to have to listen to those familiar cadences through the lines for the rest of your life. It's so wrong you turn to the only defence mechanism you've ever known, raise your voice into the receiver. "You took her _voice?"_

The Machine is silent for a moment, then Root's voice comes back on and you clutch the handset a little tighter. "This is what she wanted." 

You hold back the urge to bite off the words  _what do you know?_ because that's not a very effective comeback to an all-seeing, all-knowing artificial superintelligence. You just listen, just wait, because it's all you can do.

She sounds softer when she next speaks. "Shaw. I need you to save the world." 

Yeah, that seems to be happening a lot lately.

 

 

You didn't - 

you mean you _don't_. You don't. Just because she's dead doesn't mean you care any less. 

You don't love Root. 

You love the mission. 

But that's the thing, isn't it? She's always been your mission.

 

 

You're not there when your mission dies, or when your employer dies, or when your brother dies, and to top it all off you get separated from Fusco after he gets wounded and lose track of him. 

You know She can hear you, but you glare up into a blinking security camera for good measure. "If he dies and I'm not there - " 

There's no need for you to finish the sentence. She knows. 

 

 

"I chose you for who you are," The Machine tells you. "But there's something I wanted to say to you. You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don't feel things the way other people do. But I always felt that was what made you beautiful. I want you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line. An arrow." 

God, her voice. You have to keep reminding yourself that it's  _not_ her, and it rakes on your nerves that She's using an 'I' pronoun. Does She think that just because She stole Root's voice for Her own, She gets to play-act as Root, too? 

"Just because you sound like her doesn't mean you get to speak for her, okay, Robot Overlord?" You snap into thin air. "Just... don't."

It would be so much easier if she didn't sound so damn  _human._ "Okay, Sameen."

 

 

An hour before you find Jeffrey Blackwell, you talk to Her. 

"You shouldn't have died alone," you say, before you remember, and quickly correct yourself. "She. She shouldn't have died alone."

"Everyone dies alone, Sameen," She singsongs. "But if you meant something to someone, if you helped someone, or loved someone, if even a single person remembers you, then maybe you never really die." A pause. "And maybe, this isn't the end at all."

You can't help but roll your eyes. Mysterious riddles and sentimental obscurities designed to confuse. She's learned too well from Her analogue interface. "Will anyone remember the bastard I'm on the way to kill?"

She goes quiet. You're not sure She approves, what with Finch having given her a conscience and morals and whatever, but you'll be damned if you're letting Root's voice stop you from killing her killer. 

"You will." Another beat of silence. "And so will I." 

You guess that makes sense. 

 

 

"I met some people. Some good people. And they taught me the value of life." 

And you mean Carter, Finch, Fusco, you mean Gen and Zoe and John, because you cared - still care - about them. That day in the stock exchange, you didn't willingly give yourself up only for one person - you did it for all of them. 

But you kissed Root, and only Root, because maybe - just maybe, even if you won't admit it to anyone - she taught you how to love her, in whatever way you know how to love. 

This man standing in front of you is telling you that your friends wouldn't have wanted you to kill him. And maybe they wouldn't. 

But they're all dead. 

You think of Root's fingers intertwined with yours and pull the trigger. 

 

 

This was never really Fusco's fight, and he has a son. You're glad he made it out alive, and you get it when he wants out. After what he's had to go through, he deserves it. 

So you leave with Bear, with the knowledge that you are the last one standing. 

It's a pretty weird feeling. 

This isn't how you expected it to end. 

 

 

A payphone rings. On instinct, you pick up.

"Thank you."

You smirk. "What for, saving the world?"

She laughs - she can  _laugh._ You don't know why you're surprised, since Root could, too, but still. "For everything, Sameen."

"So, what now? Is it over?"

"Will it ever be over?" She responds cryptically. "You should go home. There's a delivery waiting for you."

 

 

In a small box on your coffee table is a cochlear implant. You feel your skin crawl at the sight of it. Is this Root's? Is this what they cut her body open to get? Are you meant to wear it?

"Fuck no," you say flatly. "You got people to dig up her body and steal this and you want me to put it in my ear? Fuck you. Absolutely not." 

Your cellphone buzzes in your pocket, and you put it to your ear. "It's not like that."

"So it's a new cochlear implant."

"No, it's mine." 

You fucking lose it. "Stop _. Stop_ that. Just stopit. You're not her. It's her voice, but you're not her - you're still the Machine. You don't get to  _be_ her. It wasn't  _yours._ It was Root's. And I'm not using it." 

The weary tone returns to her speech. "Sameen, please... I'm just trying to protect you."

"Yeah, you know what? Fuck that. I can do just fine without you. Samaritan's dead, right? Six feet under or what the fuck ever. So whatever the fuck you think or say, all your cryptic bullshit, it's _over_. I did pretty damn okay without you for most of my life, so fuck if I can't survive without some AI keeping tabs on me every second of the day. I'm out." 

You drop your phone and walk in the direction of your bedroom. From the sofa, the phone emits a piercing screech that stops you in your tracks. It repeats in bursts, over and over, and you growl, stalking back and grabbing it. "You're such an asshole."

"Come to the subway."

"What?"

"Come to the subway. You'll get your answers."

"I wasn't asking any questions."

"Sameen."

You pull on your coat.

 

 

When you get there, you know something's wrong.

The subway is  _lit._ Like, properly lit. Everything is running, which makes sense, because Finch orchestrated it so that She would stay alive even without your intervention, but the lights are on and it even sounds like the water is going. 

That doesn't - 

You walk in cautiously, one hand on your gun, head towards the setup inside the subway, where you know all the screens and wires should be, and - 

no.

Someone is sitting there, facing the screens, information feeding across them rapid-fire, numbers and photos and surveillance footage - 

someone who looks startlingly like Root from the rear - 

no. 

She turns around -

looks at you -

says your name -

"Sameen."

Root.

_Root._

She's alive. 

She's alive.

She's alive. 

She's standing up now, she's walking towards you, she's touching your face. "Sameen." 

There's a perceptible hunger in the way she says your name, like she's been longing to see you. She's here and she's real and this isn't a simulation and she's alive.

What a  _dick._

 

 

The story is easy enough to put together - Robot Overlord ran simulations, knew Samaritan would win if Finch didn't allow Her to run at full capabilities, Root suggested this  _fucking_ scheme to force Finch's hand, She agreed, Root faked her death, took refuge down here, and all this time you've thought you were talking to Her, you were actually talking to Root.

It really explains a lot. 

"I'm glad you're alive," she says. It's been half an hour since you've seen each other again and she can't keep her hands off you, all lingering touches and hand-holding. It inflames something within you. "Yeah, wish I could've said the same some time ago, when you let me think you were dead." 

She smirks playfully. "Did you miss me?"

She sounds so lighthearted you're inches from slapping her. Your palm is quite literally just next to her face when you pull back and let your hand drop to your side. Her eyes are wide. "Fuck you, Root.  _Fuck you -_ I lived two weeks thinking you were dead, thinking I would never see you again, do you know what that's like?"

"Yes," she answers, so hard and cold it stuns you momentarily. "Yes, Shaw, I _do_ know what that's like. I do know what it's like living  _three months_ thinking that the love of my life was dead."

For a moment you don't get it, and then you  _grow a brain_ and - the stock exchange. Martine. Samaritan.

Of course.

Root  _feels._ Root really  _feels,_ and if having to go through fourteen days thinking she was dead was crap for you, you can't even begin to imagine how devastating it must have been for her to watch you die. 

She's crying now. "You did it, then, to protect us. To protect me. I was only trying to protect you too. I had to watch John and Harold die and I couldn't do anything about it, Sameen. I couldn't lose you along with them. I was going to seek you out after everything died down properly. I just couldn't give the game away too early, okay? I missed you. I missed you too. And I meant everything I said." She gulps a breath, blinking her tears away. "I love you."

God, Root. She's always been the exception, always been _it_ for you. 

You step forward, pull her close, touch your forehead to hers. "I love the mission." 

And because she's always understood you, always accepted you for who you are, she gets it. She smiles through her tears and leans in to kiss you once, brief and gentle. "I know." 

 

 

You're not the last one standing anymore, not really, and you never were.

"We still need to save the world," Root tells you, and yeah, you think you're okay with that. 


End file.
